Just received the following via a Google Alert that I have for 'Springwatch', and it's made me feel even more 'protective' of Bill:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1048416/My-Oddie-life-The-troubled-times-Wildlife-Bill.htmlParticularly after the following excerpt which cuts rather too close for comfort:
Quote:
The date was January 8, 2001. Location? Edge of Hampstead Heath. My wife, Laura, and I had gone for a walk across the way from our home, but I could barely move. My hands were shaking and my legs were wobbly.
We had barely crossed the road to the Heath when I stopped, burst into tears and announced: 'I think I'm having some kind of breakdown.'
I had just begun my 60th year, and over the previous weeks, OK months, OK years, OK maybe all my life, I had shown many classic symptoms of anxiety and suppressed anger. As many have reminded me since, I had a reputation for being belligerent, argumentative, unsociable, moody and harsh.
One close friend used to call me 'Grumpib******s'. My best mate described me in a birthday speech as 'the grumpiest person I know - but he gets away with it'.
But I wasn't getting away with it. I had started writing cryptic notes in my diary against the details of that day, like: 'Stress, panic and suppressed anger.'
I had also started complaining of what I called 'skullcap head', a sort of woozy, tight feeling, a bit like jet lag. It wasn't truly painful, but it bothered me in that I felt as though I was becoming removed from reality.
So I was right about the breakdown. Later that day, Laura took me to see my GP and he confirmed my diagnosis. 'You are suffering from clinical depression,' he said.
How did he work that one out? Probably from the fact that I had shuffled into the surgery at a speed that would have embarrassed a sloth.
From the fact that I slumped into a chair and sat there staring at the floor. From the fact that my eyes kept closing. From the fact that I could barely talk. From the fact that if I tried to speak, I kept bursting into tears.
'In fact,' added the doctor, 'this is as bad as I've ever seen.'
I've been there (although not that severely) in the throes of depression and I know what a pain in the proverbial pair of buttocks it can be. For the record, I had a nervous breakdown in 1999, a smaller one in 2006 and felt like a lot of life had been yanked from my body both times. It took me about 4 months, possibly longer (my memory is hazy on the exact duration) to recover fully from the 1999 episode and around 2 to recover from the one two years ago.
It's whenever I hear people knocking Bill about his apparent lack of social skills when presenting Springwatch and the like that I get so wound up and angry that people can be so unsympathetic and unfeeling towards him through sheer ignorance of the effects of mental illness, and how that can affect your performance in everyday life.
Honestly, when I saw his episode of 'Who Do You Think You Are', I wanted to walk through the screen and give him a big hug. I wanted to tell him how much I appreciated his work on television and that I was there if he ever wanted to talk to someone about it. It was after that programme that I vowed never, EVER to badmouth him. At present, it seems like the 'vogue' thing to do to knock him down whenever Springwatch is on and frankly it makes me feel sick. Bill does not deserve this level of disrespect. He has popularised birdwatching enormously and has probably done great things for the memberships of goodness knows how many different nature conservation charities.
Bill - remember that there are people who care. I do, and I care about you deeply. My respect for, and thanks to you for giving me this hobby of birdwatching will be lifelong, no matter how 'untrendy' this may seem to others. Cheers mate, and keep smiling through!
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