The Lincolnshire Bird Club

Howdy one and all,

Typing this from my sick bed I keep checking this section in the hope someone has added to it since 22nd Jan' but no nowt been added which is a shame because I sometimes had a good laugh or a wry smile at some comments including my own, and I could certainly do with any sort of laugh of late.

Has everyone lost their chuckle muscle, I haven't but it must think I have as its not been used of late

Surely there must be some clean funny stories out there in birding world

One of the members who used to make me laugh/smile with his funny comments was TW, I hope he is well.

Anyway I'll amuse myself for the time being reading pages 34-39 of my Saga Magazine which is a collection of the UK's comedians recalling some of their jokes of which are funny.

Cheers

Max

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GETTING OLD HAS IT'S ADVANTAGES BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY ARE lol

Sorry to hear you are in your sick bed, John. Sadly it seems that only old f**ts like you and me use the "Chat" section. The rest are chatting using Twitter, Facebook, Blogs etc but that is what is called progress. Hope you are on the mend soon,
Stuart

Hi Max,

As another old-timer (82 next week) and as a previous regular contributor to the 'Chat Section' over the years (often in tandem with you), I echo Stuart's comments and wishes. I am sure our old mate Terry will surface sooner or later.

Re a story to exercise your well-used chuckle muscles ......:

Two shooters are out hunting wildfowl on the marshes. Suddenly, one of them clasps his chest, starts gurgling loudly and falls to the ground, his eyes rolling wildly. His body stops twitching and he lies motionless. His stunned colleague calls the emergency services on his mobile. "My mate seems dead!" he shouts wildly to the woman at the other end of the line. "What do I do?" he asks in a blind panic. "Well, first of all we have to be sure he really IS dead." A few seconds pass and a gunshot rings out. The confused shooter comes back on the 'phone. "Yeah! He's definitely dead. What the hell should I do next?"

Freddy

surfaced gasping for air, chuckle muscle intact er I think, some of my muscles are not quite what they were boys lol, like you max bad back at the moment hope you get better and I may not be the oldest of the old f***s but I am sure the biggest, cheer up lads chin up unless you have ricked your neck.
terry whalin

Thanks to Freddy, Stuart & Terry for those kind words, its much appreciated! Us members of the OFC have to stick together cos without us the forum wouldn't be funny

Its the usual trouble plus a cracked rib and the latter is a right pain in the you-know-what, don't recommend getting one

Stuart: I know you don't like to me using smilies but as I have a good excuse am sure you won't mind

Freddy: thanks for the laugh and smile joke. Will be watching out for the birthday section Any more books on the horizon, well I know you been very busy with other matters, so more than likely not.

Terry: sorry to hear you've got back problems its most likely caused bending over too much looking for birds etc hope you soon get better

I was thinking other day all these videos I have taken and its rare anyone sees them cept me and just realized there is You Tube button just above, might check it out and see how to upload, got some cracking videos of garden and holiday birds, also got some poor video of pine marten but also some excellent pics of them within touching distance. Just had a thought

While I've been laid up I've been catching up on some reading, not just Saga mag but a present I got at Xmas, an excellent book which I see has won awards, H is for Hawk by Helen Macdonald I've got about 40 pages left, will be sorry when it's finished. Well recommended

Cant seem to sleep that's why I'm on here at an unearthly hour

All the best lads and take care

Regards

Max aka John

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GETTING OLD HAS IT'S ADVANTAGES BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY ARE lol

Hope you soon recover John, I was in a head on car crash 25 years ago and had a broken sternum and ribs so know the pain it causes

A teacher was trying to delicately tell the story of the birds and bees to a class of young girls and one asked where babies came from
the teacher replied they are delivered by a wonderful bird called a white stork,
A strident voice at the back replied my elder sister has a new baby and she said it was a shag in Scarborough.


all the best John

John,

Your joke just made my day

Thanks for the good wishes. It's been four weeks now should be better very soon, I hope

Tripod still working

Take care

Max aka John

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GETTING OLD HAS IT'S ADVANTAGES BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY ARE lol